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pick yourself

Screw Getting Picked – Pick Yourself Instead

By: Kevin Ha

Last Updated on May 28, 2021 10 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. Affiliate Disclosure.This post may contain affiliate links. Financial Panther has partnered with AwardWallet and CardRatings for our coverage of credit card products. Financial Panther, AwardWallet, and CardRatings may receive a commission from card issuers. Some or all of the card offers that appear on the website are from advertisers. Compensation may impact on how and where card products appear on the site. The site does not include all card companies, or all available card offers. Opinions, reviews, analyses & recommendations are the author’s alone, and have not been reviewed, endorsed or approved by any of these entities.

This year, I started a new experiment where I began reposting some of my old content onto Medium. I’ve found it to be a fun experience – a very different place to write, where I really feel like more of a writer rather than “just a blogger.” 

Backing up a bit, Medium, if you’ve never heard of it, is sort of like the YouTube of blogging. It’s an all-in-one platform where you can write and publish articles. Medium has a membership system where readers pay $5 per month to read articles on the platform. That money is then divided up between writers who write on the platform. The more people that read your writing, the more you make. If you’re looking for a way to get paid purely on your writing – without having to deal with ads or affiliate marketing – Medium is one way to do it. 

One advantage of writing on Medium is that you get access to a huge base of readers. Much like YouTube, there’s a sort of algorithm and curation system at play. If you’re consistent enough and write well enough, Medium will eventually start pushing your work to a larger audience. You’ll then gain more followers, continue to write more, and earn more money.

That all sounds well and good, but there’s more to Medium than just writing. Getting your work to a larger audience really requires getting yourself into publications. Think of these as online magazines. Readers subscribe to these publications and whenever a new article is published in them, their subscribers can see them. Without publications, a lone writer without a large following really isn’t going to get their work out to a big audience. In short, you need publications to get readers and subscribers on Medium.

Here’s the problem with publications. It’s a gatekeeping system. Some publications are more lenient than others, but the largest publications where you’ll get the most exposure are – at least in my experience – difficult to get into. At this point, I haven’t been able to get any of my writing into the big publications on Medium. And with many other large publications, I’m getting rejected at about a 90% rate. 

It can be disheartening. When you make your living from writing and yet get constantly rejected, it wears you down. There usually isn’t much comment on why an article I wrote was rejected either – usually just something like “thanks for submitting, but we’re going to pass as this time.” 

You might wonder why I’m spending my time trying to post things on Medium when I already have a fairly large platform of my own. This post I write here will likely get more views than I get in an entire month on Medium.

I think it has to do with my own mindset of wanting to get picked. It’s sort of like my urge to chase prestige, even when I tell myself I don’t want to. There’s a sort of validation factor at play here too. Most of us go through life like that – we wait for people to pick us because it validates us. So here I am – honestly, probably wasting my time – editing old posts and trying to write new stuff in hopes of getting picked by some gatekeeper. 

After a few months of this, I’m starting to remind myself. Screw that. Pick yourself instead.

What Picking Yourself Means 

I have a section of bookmarks in my browser for what I call life-changing posts. These are posts that completely changed how I thought about the world. One of those posts is Seth Godin’s famous (and really short) post about picking yourself. As he explains it:

It’s a cultural instinct to wait to get picked. To seek out the permission and authority that comes from a publisher or talk show host or even a blogger saying, “I pick you.” Once you reject that impulse and realize that no one is going to select you–that Prince Charming has chosen another house–then you can actually get to work.

–Seth Godin

It’s a powerful paragraph – one that has probably influenced thousands of creators out there. For most of our lives, we’ve been taught that we had to do things so that someone would pick us. Study hard so that a school will pick you. Smile and take orders so that a job will pick you. And if you want to be a writer, write the way they want you to write so that they’ll pick you. 

Picking yourself means a couple of things. As Seth Godin puts it in another post of his:

What pick yourself means is that it’s never been easier to decide to be responsible for your own work, for your own agenda, for the change you make in the world. To have a chance to matter. Not to be finished right now, but starting now.

Pick yourself means we should stop waiting and whining and stalling.

–Seth Godin

Why You Need To Pick Yourself  

Waiting. That’s the big thing that I think a lot of us deal with. Instead of taking action or trying something, we wait for someone to tell us it’s okay. In short, we wait to get picked. 

Before the internet, getting picked was often a requirement. If you wanted to get yourself out there, you needed to get picked because a few people controlled all of the entry points. You couldn’t write and get your ideas out there unless you had a publisher pick you and put it out there. You couldn’t create videos unless a TV station picked you and put them on their channel. But it’s a different world now. You don’t need a gatekeeper to let you through. 

That’s not to say that picking yourself is a guarantee you’ll be seen. There are still so many algorithms and other weird things that decide whether you get through or not. But the key is that you at least get to try. And it doesn’t mean trying to get a million people to find you. You only need to impact a few people to make a difference. If you don’t try, you have to ask yourself what’s holding you back.

Too often, we wait for gatekeepers to pick us. It’s more comfortable – a way to push that part of our life to someone else. If you don’t pick yourself though, why should anyone else? 

How To Pick Yourself 

Control Your Own Platform. If you’re creating something, you need to have your own platform. This is something you control. Writing on Medium has been fun and I’ll keep trying it out because I find it interesting, but the problem is Medium isn’t my platform. I’m giving up control to someone else. If you don’t control your own platform, that means you’re waiting for that platform to pick you. And that can be tough. 

You Have To Let People Criticize And Laugh At You. The biggest fear with creating anything – or really doing anything – is that people will laugh at you. People are naturally inclined to not like it when people stray from the normal. When you’re putting something out there, you’re doing something that the vast majority of people won’t do. This applies to anything you do. You need to roll with the punches and let the haters hate. Of course, that doesn’t mean you’ll succeed. But if you’re scared of ridicule, you’ll never even start.

You Have To Start. Perhaps the most important thing of all. If you want to do anything, you need to start. It’ll be messy at first. You’re going to suck at it. But if you don’t start, you can’t get better. And if you don’t start, you’re either letting laziness get you or you’re letting fear hold you back.

This is a post that would never make it on any of the publications I want to be in on Medium. And since it wouldn’t get picked by those publications, I wouldn’t write it. The world would lose a little bit of something simply because I needed someone else to pick me.

I have my own platform and I picked myself a long time ago. Some people will find a post like this stupid. Others will resonate with it. Since I picked myself, I (and nobody else) get to at least decide if I can put it out there. Whatever you’re doing, make sure you pick yourself too.

This post may contain affiliate links. Financial Panther has partnered with AwardWallet and CardRatings for our coverage of credit card products. Financial Panther, AwardWallet, and CardRatings may receive a commission from card issuers. Some or all of the card offers that appear on the website are from advertisers. Compensation may impact on how and where card products appear on the site. The site does not include all card companies, or all available card offers. Opinions, reviews, analyses & recommendations are the author’s alone, and have not been reviewed, endorsed or approved by any of these entities.

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  • Hovsco HovBeta Ebike – The HovBeta is a folding ebike with great specs and a lot of interesting features, and importantly, it’s sold at a good price point. I’ve had a blast commuting with it and using it to do deliveries with DoorDash, Uber Eats, and Grubhub. Check out my Hovsco HovBeta Ebike Review.
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  • Sohamo S3 Step-Thru Folding EBike Review – A Great Value Folding Ebike – The Sohamo S3 Step-Thru Folding Ebike is an entry-level folding ebike that offers a lot of value for the price point. I’ve been riding the Sohamo S3 for a while now, putting the bike through its paces, and I have to say, this bike has exceeded all of my expectations. Check out my Sohamo Review.
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financial panther

Kevin is an attorney and the blogger behind Financial Panther, a blog about personal finance, travel hacking, and side hustling using the gig economy. He paid off $87,000 worth of student loans in just 2.5 years by choosing not to live like a big shot lawyer.

Kevin is passionate about earning money using the gig economy and you can see all the ways he makes extra income every month in his side hustle reports.

Kevin is also big on using the latest fintech apps to improve his finances. Some of Kevin's favorite fintech apps include:

  • SoFi Money. A really good checking account with absolutely no fees. You'll get a $25 referral bonus if you open a SoFi Money account with a referral link, and an additional $300 if you complete a direct deposit.
  • 5% Savings Accounts. I'm currently getting 5.24% interest on my savings through a company called Raisin. Opening a Raisin account takes minutes to complete, it's free, and all of your funds are FDIC-insured. I explain how it works, why I'm now using it to store my emergency fund and any other cash savings I have, and why I recommend everyone check it out in this review.
  • US Bank Business. US Bank is currently offering new business customers a $900 signup bonus after opening a new account and meeting certain requirements.
  • M1 Finance. This is a great robo-advisor that has no fees and allows you to create a customized portfolio based on your risk tolerance. You also get $100 for opening an account.
  • Empower. One of best free apps you can use to monitor your portfolio and track your net worth. This is one of the apps I use to track my financial accounts.

Feel free to send Kevin a message here.

By: Kevin Ha

Filed Under: Career, My Story

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. FreshLifeAdvice says

    June 28, 2021 at 3:59 pm

    This truly is one of the best posts I’ve read, Kevin. You’ve encouraged many people, and I’ve saved this as a reminder to always believe in myself even when others won’t give you the time of day. Love the motto “Pick yourself”.

    Reply
  2. adam@realworldpersonalfinance says

    June 1, 2021 at 8:27 am

    This resonates deeply with me. As a new blogger, I look at content that’s out there already and think I need to write in a similar tone. However, there’s no one else who is me, and I need to write like myself. There will always be people who appreciate my writing style because of who I am and my perspective. Just as you are doing with this post.

    There will always be someone who simply doesn’t like your work for seemingly unknown reasons. That’s just the way life is.

    Reply
  3. Impersonal Finances says

    May 31, 2021 at 5:33 pm

    Great advice. Just get started–whatever it is. We cripple ourselves with anxiety or agonize over doing something perfectly that sometimes we forget to even do it at all. Good for you trying something new with Medium, but you have the best of both worlds by having your own platform as well.

    Reply
  4. Steveark says

    May 29, 2021 at 7:47 am

    I picked a college engineering program to major in by the time I was in junior high. Then I picked the company I wanted to work for in the middle of my senior year of college. Then I picked the job that I wanted to have at the company. And I picked the age of 40 for when I wanted to be running that company. I only missed the last one, it took me until I was 41. I’ve always been a fan of doing the picking rather than just hoping someone picked me.

    Reply
  5. Financial Samurai says

    May 28, 2021 at 10:22 pm

    I love the message! Back in 2009, when I first started, nobody would give me the time of day. I asked if I could guest post and I was always told no. So I started my own blog network back then and it was fun.

    Today, I’m constantly rejected or ignored when I try to reach out. One big media editor was working with me forever and then suddenly ghosted me. I’m not sure what was up with that.

    At the end of the day, you can pick yourself up and go past the gate keepers. And who knows, good things might happen.

    I think it’s great we have our own sites. I love not having asked for permission from anybody to write and publish.

    Although it’s much harder to build your own brand and platform Then it is to join a bigger media organization, it’s much more rewarding to do something on your own.

    Then again, who knows. You might end up making 10X what the gatekeeper makes.

    Sam

    Reply
  6. Accidentally Retired says

    May 28, 2021 at 1:33 pm

    I couldn’t agree more. I love Seth Godin he’s continuously inspired me to achieve greatness within myself. To do the work.

    Last summer I sat around brainstorming things I could do next in my career. Blogging kept coming up. I’ve always wanted to blog my real thoughts and opinions. So I picked myself and started AR.

    It’s not always easy, but you can and should pick yourself every day. You can’t sit around waiting for someone else to gift you what you want. You have to reach out there and make it happen for you.

    Reply
    • Financial Panther says

      May 28, 2021 at 4:44 pm

      Exactly. Pick yourself every day!

      Reply
  7. Lili says

    May 28, 2021 at 1:26 pm

    I picked myself by starting my own business. It has kicked my butt and I just made my first sale and it feels fantastic. Makes me wonder though, we are still waiting to get picked by our potential customers and before this sale I was really feeling like no one wanted what I have to offer. I’m learning that it’s a numbers game though.

    Reply
    • Financial Panther says

      May 28, 2021 at 4:44 pm

      Congrats on that first sale!

      Agree that the market still has to pick us. What is good though is that you can at least get yourself to market without a gatekeeper holding you back.

      Reply
  8. gofi says

    May 28, 2021 at 1:20 pm

    Medium is the only subscription I pay – mostly to read on data stuff, and on what younger folks are upto. There’s a lot of repetitive stuff, but worth the $5. I like that the posts are short and that I can skim through them quickly. I’d go else where to find the details.

    Reply

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