Part of the duties of my current day job involves going to a bunch of lawyer conferences. As a result, I’m often surrounded by really successful lawyers. These are lawyers who have done pretty much everything right in their legal careers – top grades, good law schools, big-name law firms. One thing they all definitely have in common is a high level of prestige.
I have a weird relationship with prestige. If you’re a follower of this blog, you know that I followed a fairly traditional legal path to start off my career – I went to a good law school, was on my school’s law review, worked as a summer associate at a big law firm, and then went on to begin my legal career at one of the largest law firms in my state. Prestige was a big deal to me. And, I think I looked pretty prestigious.
It’s amazing how much things can change in just a few years. Today, I find myself in a decidedly unprestigious position. I’m at a small non-profit organization. I make way less money (like $70,000 less than I made at my peak). And, while I’m still an attorney and work in the legal field, I’m not even practicing law anymore. I definitely don’t get the “wows” that I used to get when people ask me what I do for a living. From a prestige perspective, I seem to be going backward.
A lot of this has to do with me just not caring about prestige all that much anymore. As I’ve learned more about financial independence and the things that are important to me, all of the traditional factors of success – the big house, the nice car, the good job and fancy title – just don’t matter all that much to me. Instead, I care about my dumb side hustles or side projects like this blog. Basically, things that aren’t prestigious at all. And really, let’s be honest, the dumb things that I do are the type of things that get laughed at by the people who are prestigious.
This blog obviously isn’t about chasing prestige. If anything, it’s about the opposite.
The Innate Urge To Chase Prestige
Wanting more prestige (and chasing after it) is something that I think a lot of us deal with at some point. It’s ingrained in us to want more, even if we think we don’t.
Lawyers especially get caught up in the whole prestige thing. We rank everything (law schools, law firms, judges, cities, etc), and as a result, we start ranking people. If you put the resumes of two lawyers on a table, you can usually say who’s the more “prestigious” lawyer. With all of this ranking going on, it’s not hard to want to make sure you’re ranked well too.
That’s not to say there’s something inherently wrong with chasing prestige. Going for more prestige often means more money, nicer things, admiration from other people, and of course, all of the other stuff we associate with a good life. If this stuff is important to you, then, of course, go out there and get it.
But I think prestige can often leave us feeling trapped. Just think about all the things chasing prestige makes us do:
- Work jobs we don’t really like;
- Deal with people we don’t really want to deal with;
- Work at all hours of the day;
- Live in super expensive neighborhoods or expensive cities that we might not need to live in;
- Buy things we don’t really need.
I don’t really need to deal with all of that stuff. That’s why I’ve chosen to do my best not to care about prestige at all! I live in a non-prestigious neighborhood. I work a non-prestigious job now. And I do all sorts of dumb side hustles that are definitely the opposite of prestigious.
But even though I say I don’t care about prestige, it’s still ingrained in me to want it. I really felt this at a recent conference I attended where I ran into a bunch of my old colleagues. Folks were moving on in their careers – moving up in the firms or going to good in-house positions at fancy companies. I couldn’t help but feel like they were looking down at me for my career trajectory. They were all doing great, I was seemingly doing not so great, and for the first time in a while, I felt a little bit bad about myself. The urge to chase prestige is in me, even if I tell myself I don’t care about it. It’s a constant battle.
How To Fight The Urge To Chase Prestige
I think prestige can trap you. Sure, it made me feel like I was better than other people, but looking back, I know it didn’t make me happier or more satisfied with my life. I don’t need all of that hassle. But that desire to be prestigious is still there, so I’m always actively doing things to make myself not care about prestige as much. Here’s what I do to fight this urge to chase prestige.
Surround Yourself With People Who Don’t Care About Prestige (Or At Least That Don’t Care About Your Prestige). One of the reasons lawyers (and law students) care so much about prestige is because the people around them care about those same things. It’s funny how prestige works – it only really exists if there are other people around to validate it.
If you surround yourself with people who don’t really care about that stuff, suddenly, the prestige you care so much about becomes much less valuable. A non-lawyer has no idea what the difference is between different law firms. I have no idea what the difference is between different residency programs for doctors. So, all of that prestige, around the right people, really means nothing. And if it means nothing, you stop chasing it.
If you can, expand yourself outside of your normal social circles. You’ll find that all of that stuff you think is so amazing really isn’t that big a deal to other people not in that world.
Humble Yourself. Part of the reason I do a lot of these dumb side hustles (hosting on Airbnb, delivering food on my bike, walking dogs, etc.) is that it helps me to stay humble. When you think about it, chasing prestige is based on that innate desire in all of us to show off just how awesome we are. When random people get impressed by you, you start to get that sense that maybe you’re better than everyone.
It’s hard to get a big head when you take the time to do low-level stuff like a normal person. That’s part of the reason why I do all of my side hustles. Besides the fact that I think they’re fun, they’re also a humbling experience. It’s hard to get a big head when I’m out on a bike delivering food to someone. Or walking a dog. Or doing countless other things that people like me don’t normally do.
Constantly Remind Yourself To Be Happy With Enough. I think so many people forget just how lucky they are. Even if you aren’t making a gazillion dollars a year, I bet you make more than you think. And you probably have a lot of stuff that other people could only dream to have. Make it a point to avoid looking at what you could have, and instead look at what you do have and how fortunate you are.
Concluding Thoughts
Prestige is out there. We all have that inner desire to get more of it. And in the process, we often trap ourselves in this endless cycle of doing things we might not want to do and that might not make us happy, just to get more prestige in our life.
Maybe, all of that prestige chasing isn’t all its cracked up to be. At least that’s what I’ve learned.
Kevin is an attorney and the blogger behind Financial Panther, a blog about personal finance, travel hacking, and side hustling using the sharing economy. He paid off $87,000 worth of student loans in just 2.5 years by choosing not to live like a big shot lawyer. Kevin is also passionate about earning money using the sharing economy and you can see exactly how he makes five figures every year in his side hustle reports. Feel free to send Kevin a message here.
I think achieving financial independence helped a lot in making me not think much about chasing prestige anymore. It is not worth the stress or anxiety of pushing myself more than I need to. Every once in awhile I think about the people at work that seem to get the better opportunities or the greater exposure to senior management. But then I remind myself where I am in my financial journey and it makes me forget about all that “climbing the corporate ladder stuff!”
The way I see it, the prestige thing is a cake eating contest, with the prize being more cake! You do you!
Such a good post; thank you!! Not gonna lie, when I hear about my friends going in-house or becoming partners, or even buying a house in the very expensive SF Bay Area, part of me wants to be like Marge and get that Chanel dress to keep up with them. 😀
Haha, glad to see a fellow Simpsons watcher here too! It’s definitely a fight everyday to avoid falling into that prestige trap.
Great post, FP. And chasing prestige, sadly, is a malady that continues for many throughout their careers. You’d think that people would grow out of this, but they don’t. In my 50s, I had a pretty prestigious, high-paying job in the United States Senate , but grew weary of the position after a few years and a leadership change at the top. I could have bitten my tongue, made my money and stayed. Many of my colleagues did. But I gave up the job for one in a think tank that is doing really important work in reforming policing. I took a fairly substantial pay cut and a definite reduction in prestige. But I am much more fulfilled professionally and feel like I’m helping to make a difference in the world. A couple of important morals. I stayed at the Senate just long enough to vest in my pension (even though I wanted to bail earlier). And after a few years of working really hard, I’m back to my old salary.
Thanks Kevin! Really great to hear the perspective from someone with the life experience.
Great post. I too have the urge to chase the prestige from time to time but overall, my financial freedom and flexibility to have a work life balance conquers all desires to join that arena. Thank you for your post!
Thanks!
It’s definitely easier said than done, that’s for sure. I made a pivot in my career this year, and it’s definitely a less prestigious role. Something I struggle with to this day, but I think I’m getting better each day.
Less prestigious, but better for you, right?
your soul is not worth the price you might pay for prestige. i’ve been a chemist for a long time and a pretty good and useful one. i had titles and meetings with VP’s and travel and such and then about 14 years ago i found a job with a crappy title. i even got bounced to being an operator on the factory floor a few times during lay-offs. here’s the thing: it pays more that those prestige jobs and there is no pressure to take work home or compete for the next raise. you just go work 8 hours and go home and enjoy life.
Good for you man! Even better that you make even more than those prestigious jobs that everyone oohs and aahs at.
Nice post. I wonder if the pursuit of prestige is also overly ingrained in us Asians? Time to go hang out with non-Asians. Haha just kidding 😉
Oh for sure. It’s definitely an Asian thing. We Asians are so impressed with prestige when it comes to everything – job, city, etc.
Sounds like you need to work for the Federal Govt hahaha. I’m an attorney with tSSA’s hearing office operations and the perks one gets working for the fed govt (work at home, flexible leave policy, credit hours, overtime, the TSP!!) are so conducive to professionals who care more about enriching their lives more than their paycheck and what kind of car they drive. I happen to be one of those people (and I still make six-figure salary with OT). You should look into it!!
*SSA (as in Social Security Administration)
Oh man, federal government is where it’s at. My best friend works for the USPTO. Low six figures, works 100% remote, never more than 40 hours a week. It’s funny because he tried to get biglaw, didn’t get it, and then ended up at the USPTO. And he had it so much better.
The whole “chasing prestige” is a big part of why I left New York. I couldn’t deal with constantly feeling “less than” and, in a place like NYC, you’re *always* going to feel less than. I’ve wound up in LA and it’s definitely creeped back in. The difference is, I’m older now and less likely to care about what I have in comparison to others. Soon enough, my husband and I will make the move to Phoenix (close to his son, way less expensive cost of living—but lord, my pale self might burst into flames in that heat). I’m more interested in living a happy, balanced life than being the object of envy. But what I’ve found is that when people see how content and relaxed I am, they’re often envious of that!
I see the same thing in my life with people in prestigious jobs sometimes wishing they had something else. Starting out in law school, all I cared about was prestige. And while it helped my career and helped my pay off my debt, it really didn’t make me feel any better. I think as you get older, you start realizing that the prestige just isn’t that big a deal.
There’s “prestige”-chasing in the sense of going for the high salaries, big firms, and buying into the golden handcuffs, and then there’s also “prestige”-chasing in the sense of “every would-be litigator should do a clerkship, don’t worry about the opportunity costs and lost income!” I’ve managed to be seriously influenced by both kinds, alas. Law school, in my experience, aggressively promoted both kinds.
In actuality, I really loved my clerkship and wouldn’t give up the experience for the world. It was totally worth it for me, in large part because my judge was so wonderful and also because it ended up being essential to my getting my current “almost-biglaw with much better hours” job. But dang, nobody really tries to talk about how much it costs to clerk, and when I even attempt to start thinking about how much income I lost, or how much extra interest I owe on my student loans as a result, I stop, because those numbers are too scary.
I’d love to do a clerkship one day – maybe someday in the future if I think I’m going to jump into something else outside of the law. I like the idea of clerkships just because I like thinking about law. It seems like law school in a way.
If one steps back and examine, what do you really gain from prestige except for bragging rights and to feed one’s ego? If anything, people resent you for it out of jealousy and those who wants some tries to gets close for their own gain.
As far as I am concerned, there are no real benefits.
Wait a minute, hosting on Airbnb isn’t a dumb side hustle! 🙂
Great read my friend. I for one get caught up in the trap of seeking prestige at work to this very day. A year out from early retirement, and still chasing down a seemingly elusive promotion. Not for the money, just to reach another rung for the pride o meter.
Haha, true. Airbnb is probably the only one that is legit, not a dumb side hustle. Like it’s usually well worth it for the income.
Ah, who needs the promotion. You’ll be free soon enough man!
This is a thought-provoking post. I never really thought the single word “prestige” could mean so much and lead to such a lot of things.
Now, come to think of it, prestige is also what leads to the famous “keeping up with the Joneses”. It’s all about being ahead of the pack in visible tangible measures.
In some ways media doesn’t help either. I am an MBA from a good B-School in India. Every year, most mainstream publications do their own version of Top B-Schools and even people with no interest in business per se end up knowing about the good ones. In fact, even the highest packages at such campuses ends up making into the news.
However, as pointed by you, it’s easier to keep it real when you think of yourself in perspective. Finally, you are a small cog in the huge wheel of the world. Gratitude also helps me, especially considering I am definitely luckier than a lot of people in my country.