Yours truly got out of debt in June 2016. This month, I didn’t have to pay a student loan bill for the first time in over 2 years and I’ll tell you, it felt weird. But it’s such an amazing feeling.
So here’s what’s crazy. I just got out of debt. And I’m going to be going right back into debt again. You see, Ms. Financial Panther and I are getting married next year and she has $130k in student loan debt. Ouch! What’s yours is mine though, right?
I’m not worried however. We’re both pretty smart (I think), work in high earning professions, and expect to make a very good household income. But perhaps why I’m so confident that we won’t have this $130k of debt for long is because we’re open about our finances and are on the same page financially. We’ve been that way ever since we knew this was a serious relationship.
It’s a bit of a taboo to talk about money before you are married (and sometimes even during marriage), but it’s something that I think is necessary if you want to succeed in reaching your financial goals. Personal finance is personal, no doubt. When you start out, its an individual sport. Go out and do what you need to do for yourself. Once you let someone else into your life though, personal finance becomes a team sport. For most people, you’ll become a team probably even before you are married. You’ll each have your own goals, your own assets, your own liabilities. Studies often show that money is the greatest cause for divorce. Seems like it makes sense to address money head on then, even before you are married, and to make sure you’re both on the same page.
Here’s how Ms. Panther and I made sure we were on the same page from the beginning:
1. We Were Open About Our Finances Once We Knew Our Relationship Had Legs
Ms. Panther and I had been dating for about 2 years when I started my first job at a large law firm in town. We both knew that I wasn’t particularly well suited for the big law firm life. The hours are horrendous. The work is often mind numbingly boring. The only thing really good about it is the pay. There really aren’t a lot of jobs out there that pay six figures to a 26 year old kid with no work experience.
At the time I started my new gig, Ms. Panther and I had been dating for 2 years and had just started sharing an apartment together. It was the first time I had ever lived with a significant other. Once we started living together, I thought this was probably going somewhere. I figured now was as good a time as any for us to really start discussing what we brought to the relationship and where we hoped to go in the future.
The big anchor I had weighing me down was my large student loan debt. I had $87k in student loan debt – a not too shabby amount. $87k on a standard 10 year repayment plan comes out to about $1000 per month depending on the interest rate. Your typical lawyer will take the full 10 years to pay that back, or maybe even drag it out longer. There was no way I was going to do that.
I hadn’t gotten onto my personal finance kick yet when I started working . I didn’t know what a 401(k) was or what was an asset allocation. The only thing I did know was that I had a lot of debt and from everything I had read in the news, student loan debt was bad (especially for lawyers) and I needed to get rid of it quickly. I thought it made sense to try to pay it off as fast as I could.
Ms. Panther knew I had this one goal to pay off the debt. We discussed what I made. What she expected to make. What our assets were and what our liabilities were. She understood my plan to pay off my debt and I understood her plan to pay off her debt. Once your relationship is serious, it makes sense to be open with your partner about your finances and what you want to achieve. You don’t want to be surprised later on. Ms. Panther and I were open books with each other. I don’t think we’ll be surprised with what we bring to the table once we’re married.
2. We’ve Stayed On the Same Financial Page
Our financial goals are good to have, but it couldn’t work if we weren’t also on the same page to reach those goals. The only way to be able to pay my student loans off FAST was to not live like your typical young lawyer. We couldn’t live in the hippest neighborhood or in an awesome apartment (not at full price anyway). We had to live like regular people our age.
That wasn’t such a big deal for her actually. She was still in dental school, so for her, living like a student was the normal course of action. Of course, you do have a lot of dental students living in the luxury apartments as well. Either they have rich parents or they take out a lot of student loans. I guess I don’t really know how they afford it. But I digress.
Ms. Panther made sure to keep us both on the same page. We moved three times in the past three years (for a number of reasons, we like to check out new neighborhoods and grab rent deals when we see them). There were a number of times when I suggested a more expensive apartment in a cooler neighborhood. Ms. Panther shot those down. She was right. If we wanted to reach our goals, we needed to make sure we were on the same page too. It’s a team sport! So far, it’s been working out.
3. We’ve Committed To Our Future Goals
I paid off my student loans last month and am coming into our marriage with a clean slate. Sweet!
Ms. Panther will be bringing in $130k of student loan debt. Bummer! That’s okay though. When Ms. Panther starts working, we expect she’ll make a high six figure salary, somewhere in the 200k range. We’ve committed to paying down her debt within 2 years at the most, although we hope to be able to do it even sooner than that.
How will we do it? We’ve gotten pretty used to living mainly on my salary. As long as we don’t let lifestyle creep take over, we should be able to keep living the way we do now (which is pretty well) and put almost all of her income into her student loans. That’s the only way we can do it. It’s a doable plan. We’ve discussed this goal and committed to it.
So as you can see, I’m not worried about this new $130k of debt! We’ve got our goal. We’ve got our plan. We’ve talked about it. We’re on the same page. No surprises in our partnership! If you’re in a serious relationship, make sure the two of you are on the same page even before you are married. It’ll really help you start off on the right foot.
What do you think? How do you handle discussing finances before marriage?
More Recommended Ebike/Scooters
Check out these other ebikes/scooters I've had the chance to do a review for:
- GEN3 Outcross Bike – The GEN3 Outcross is a solid, affordable fat tire ebike that does a good job of doing what I need it to do. It works great for city riding, giving me a smooth ride in all conditions. It’s works really well as a winter ebike since the fat tires give it good traction over snow and ice. Check out my GEN3 Outcross Review.
- Himiway Escape Bike – The Himiway Escape is an interesting bike for anyone looking for a moped-style ebike. If you’re a gig economy worker, the Himiway Escape is particularly interesting and it’s possible to think of it as an investment, especially if you can opt to do deliveries with the Himiway versus using a car. It’s not cheap, but you can definitely make your money back when you compare the mileage you’ll put on your car versus using an ebike. Check out my Himiway Escape Bike Review.
- Espin Sport Bike – The Espin Sport is a good ebike for someone who is looking for an ebike that feels and rides more like a regular bike. There are many ebikes that are really only bikes in name. In reality, they’re basically electric mopeds. The Espin Sport, by contrast, is a bike you could probably ride without the battery and you’d feel like you’re just riding a regular bike. Check out my Espin Sport Review.
- Varla Eagle One Scooter – The Varla Eagle One is an excellent scooter that can make sense for a lot of people. It can work as a primary mode of transportation. You can use it to work on gig economy apps like DoorDash, Uber Eats, and Grubhub. And it can also be a recreational vehicle if you’d prefer to use it for that. Check out my Varla Eagle One Review.
- Fucare H3 Scooter – The Fucare H3 is a fun scooter and I’ve enjoyed testing it out. For a daily commuter or quick trips or errands, the Fucare H3 is probably the scooter I’ll use. It’s portable and easy to maneuver, so it’s just easier to take on the road when I need it. Check out my Fucare H3 Scooter Review.
More Recommended Investing App Bonuses
For additional investing app bonuses, be sure to check out the ones below:
- M1 Finance ($50) – This is a great robo-advisor that has no fees and allows you to create a customized portfolio based on your risk tolerance. You also get $50 for opening an account. Check out my M1 Finance Referral Bonus – Step-By-Step Guide.
- SoFi Invest ($25) – SoFi Invest is an easy brokerage account bonus that you can earn with just a few minutes of work. Use my SoFi Invest referral link, fund your SoFi Invest brokerage account with $100 and you’ll get $25 of free stock. I also have a step-by-step guide for the SoFi Invest referral bonus.
- Moomoo (5 free stocks) – Moomoo is a free investing app currently offering 5 free stocks (usually worth around $75-$100) if you open an account using a referral link and deposit $2,000. Read my Moomoo referral bonus guide for more information.
- Webull (5 free stocks) – Webull also gives you 5 free stock valued between $3-$3,000 each if you open an account using my referral link. Here’s a guide I wrote about how to earn your free stocks using Webull.
- Robinhood (1 free stock) – Robinhood gives you a free stock valued between $2.50-$225 if you open an account using my referral link.
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More Recommended Bank Account Bonuses
If you’re looking for more easy bank bonuses, check out the below options. These bonuses are all easy to earn and have no fees or minimum balance requirements to worry about.
- Chime ($100) - Chime is a free bank account that offers a referral bonus if you use a referral link and complete a direct deposit of $200 or more. In practice, any ACH transfer into this account triggers the bonus. This bonus is easy to earn and posts instantly, so you’ll know if you met the requirements as soon as you move money into the account. I wrote a step-by-step guide on how to earn your Chime referral bonus that I recommend you check out.
- SoFi Money ($25) - SoFi Money is a free checking account from SoFi. They’re currently a $25 referral bonus if you open a SoFi Money account with a referral link. This is a good bank that is also 100% free, so you won’t have to worry about managing this account. Here’s a post I wrote with instructions on how to earn your SoFi Money bonus: SoFi Money Referral Bonus: Step By Step Guide.
- Brex ($250) – Brex is a free business cash management account that is offering new users a $250 Amazon gift card if you sign up using a referral link and meet certain requirements. It’s an easy bonus to earn and well worth doing. Here is my Brex Card Referral Bonus Step By Step Guide.
- Current ($50) – Current is a free fintech bank that’s offering new users a $50 referral bonus after signing up for an account using a referral link.Current is an easy bonus to earn and also gives you access to three savings accounts that pay you 4% interest on up to $2,000. That means you can put away up to $6,000 earning 4% interest. That’s very good and makes Current an account I recommend to everyone. Check out my step-by-step guide on how to earn your Current Bank bonus.
- Spiral ($50) – Spiral is a fintech bank that's currently offering new customers a $50 signup bonus after opening a free checking account with them. The Spiral referral bonus is especially good because it's a free checking account and doesn't require a direct deposit to earn the bonus. Here is my step-by-step guide on how to earn your Spiral Bank bonus.
- Nearside ($90) - Nearside is a free business checking account that’s currently offering a $40 signup bonus and a $50 referral bonus if you open a Nearside business checking account using a referral link. Filling out the application should only take you a few minutes. And the bonus terms are easy to meet. Check out my Nearside signup and referral bonus guide here.
- OnJuno ($100) – OnJuno is a fintech/neobank that is currently offering a $100 referral bonus if you open an account using a referral link and complete a direct deposit of $250 or more. The account has no fees or minimum balance requirements. Even better, the bonus posts immediately after you meet the requirements. If you can meet the direct deposit requirements, OnJuno is an easy bank bonus that’s worth snagging. Check out my OnJuno referral bonus guide here.
- Fairwinds Credit Union ($100) – Fairwinds Credit Union is offering a referral bonus for users that sign up using a referral link. Fairwinds has no fees or minimum balance, so this is a particularly easy bonus to earn. Since this is a smaller credit union, my gut instinct tells me this offer won’t be around long, so if you’re in a position to meet the bonus requirements, grab this bonus before it’s gone. Here is my step-by-step guide on how to earn your Fairwinds Credit Union bonus.
- Albert ($150) – If you can manage to do a real direct deposit, Albert is an easy account you can use to earn a referral bonus. Here’s a review about Albert I wrote. And here’s a step-by-step guide on how to earn your Albert referral bonus.
- Fifth Third Bank ($350) – Fifth Third Bank is currently offering new customers a $350 signup bonus after opening a new account and meeting certain requirements. This offer is limited to customers in the following states: Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Michigan, North Carolina, Ohio, Tennessee, West Virginia, and South Carolina. If you live or visit one of these states, make sure to take advantage of this high bonus. Check out my post on Fifth Third Bank to learn more.
- Varo ($50) – Varo is a free fintech banking app similar to Chime or Current. It’s currently offering a $50 bonus to new users that open a new Varo account with a referral link. The bonus for this bank is very easy to meet, all you need to do is spend $20 within 30 days of opening your Varo account. Check out my step-by-step guide to learn how to earn this bonus.
- One Finance ($50) – One Finance is a fintech bank that’s currently offering a $50 signup bonus if you open an account using a One Finance referral link and have a direct deposit of $250 or more. This is a completely free bank account with no minimum balance requirement, so if you can meet the requirements, it’s worth doing. Check out my One Finance referral bonus guide here.
- Netspend ($20 + 5% Interest Savings Account) – Netspend is a company that provides 5% interest savings accounts. If you sign up using my referral link, you’ll get a $20 signup bonus once you make your first deposit into your Netspend account of $40 or more. That means you get a 5% interest savings account and a free $20 to start! Make sure to check out my in-depth guide on how to set up these accounts.
Kevin is an attorney and the blogger behind Financial Panther, a blog about personal finance, travel hacking, and side hustling using the gig economy. He paid off $87,000 worth of student loans in just 2.5 years by choosing not to live like a big shot lawyer.
Kevin is passionate about earning money using the gig economy and you can see all the ways he makes extra income every month in his side hustle reports.
Kevin is also big on using the latest fintech apps to improve his finances. Some of Kevin's favorite fintech apps include:
- Personal Capital. One of best free apps you can use to monitor your portfolio and track your net worth. This is one of the apps I use to track my financial accounts.
- SoFi Money. A really good checking account with absolutely no fees. You'll get a $25 referral bonus if you open a SoFi Money account with a referral link.
- Brex. Brex is a free business cash management account that is currently offering new users a $250 Amazon gift card if you sign up using a referral link and meet certain requirements.
- M1 Finance. This is a great robo-advisor that has no fees and allows you to create a customized portfolio based on your risk tolerance. You also get $50 for opening an account.
- Albert. A great free app I use to track my finances and save more money. You can also earn a $150 signup bonus if you open a free Albert cash account.
Feel free to send Kevin a message here.
Good points here and I think the key is just being open and honest with each other the whole way. Another good point would be if either one of you doesn’t agree with a certain decision, be sure to speak up about this rather than just going along silently. Having open discussions is always a good idea and allows you to see someone else’s point of view.
Definitely makes sense. We try to be as open as possible and so far haven’t had too many disagreements yet.
Sounds like you are off to a great start! Like you said, financial disagreements are a common cause for divorce and if you are talking opening about financial issues, that’s a good sign that you are talking openly about most things. Well done!
Lifestyle creep will be the concern to avoid and since you are already aware of this as a watch-out, you should be in good shape. Congrats on the upcoming wedding!
Thanks Jon! Definitely keeping an eye out on the lifestyle creep.
It baffles my mind that people are getting married without totally being on board with each other on finances & money. Money flows into every area of our lives, finances are key to life and future goals. How can you NOT be on the same page?
So anyway, great job to you both for setting out what you’re doing. It really, really helps when you do this and you grow together.
Congrats on getting married, sounds like you 2 will have a great life together.
Tristan