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You Probably Have No Idea What You Want

Last Updated on August 21, 2024June 13, 2021 13 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. Affiliate Disclosure.This post may contain affiliate links. Financial Panther has partnered with AwardWallet and CardRatings for our coverage of credit card products. Financial Panther, AwardWallet, and CardRatings may receive a commission from card issuers. Some or all of the card offers that appear on the website are from advertisers. Compensation may impact on how and where card products appear on the site. The site does not include all card companies, or all available card offers. Opinions, reviews, analyses & recommendations are the author’s alone, and have not been reviewed, endorsed or approved by any of these entities.

A little over a year ago, my wife and I went to an open house for a fancy, big house. It was in a good neighborhood, close to my wife’s family, and ideally situated for both of our commutes. The house was amazing. Fully renovated. A large lot. Gorgeous finishes. Great curb appeal. It even had a mother-in-law living area that could be separated from the rest of the house and probably used as the occasional Airbnb space.

The house had a list price of $1 million, which is a crazy amount of money. It was so far beyond what we ever thought we would spend on a house that you might as well have said it was a billion dollars. It’d be like asking me if I wanted to buy a $100k Porsche or something.

Of course, we weren’t actually thinking about buying such an expensive house – we just wanted to see what a house like that looked like. At the time, a big house wasn’t something that I thought I ever wanted. I had spent all of my 20s and 30s living in small 1-bedroom apartments and then in a relatively small single-family home. The way I saw it, my life would probably keep looking the same, with the same wants and needs in my mid-30s as when I was in my 20s.

Fast forward to the present and my wife and I are closing on a new house in the million-dollar price range. We’re in a very different place now compared to where we used to be. We have a kid. My wife owns her own practice. I’ve developed a lifestyle business that’s allowing me to earn what I made at my last job, while also giving me a very flexible schedule. 

It’s a dramatic shift in how I thought we’d live. The idea that my family would live on $30k a year forever while saving 90% of our income or whatever is long gone now. And that’s a decision I’m perfectly happy with.

I think it goes to show you that when it comes to the things you think you want…well, most of us probably have no idea what we really want. And the things we think we want, they’ll probably change too. Here’s why.

Who You Are Now Isn’t Who You’ll Be Later 

When you’re young, it’s kind of hard to visualize yourself in the future. I think a lot of us look at the lives we have now and envision that they’ll look sort of the same in the future.  Sure, we understand that things won’t be exactly the same. But we assume that things won’t be that different either. 

So, at 20 years old, some of us set FI numbers for ourselves. We look at the life we’re currently living – maybe we spend $30k or $40k a year as a 20-something – and we figure we can do that forever. That’s how I used to think things would work. I lived pretty simply. And I assumed I’d just live that way for the rest of my life. 

With some life experience under my belt, I’ve learned that it’s pretty difficult to know what your life will look like. Life is too long to think that the way you’re living right now is the way you’ll want to live forever. It’s hard to plan a few years into the future, let alone try to plan the rest of our lives. This is why I gave up on having a FI number. 

When I look at the person I was even just a few years ago, it’s almost like I’m looking at a different person. The things I thought I wanted back then are very different compared to the things I want now. It’s understandable too. I have a completely different life. And I’ve grown a lot and incorporated a lot of the life experiences I’ve had into my worldview. 

Who you are as a person will change. You’ll still always you’ll be you. But every day, we learn and grow a little bit more. And as you grow and change as a person, the things you want will change too. 

Your Life Will Change A Lot 

When I was in my 20s, the idea of having a big, nice house was never something I thought about. And why would I? I was in my 20s. I didn’t care about having a nice place. My priorities were very different then.

Your life will change a lot as you get older though. And as your life changes, your priorities will change too. I’m in the early kid stage of life now, dealing with babies and toddlers. That’s very different from my mid-20s working career stage in life when all I cared about was paying off my student loans and living lean. And it’ll be very different from my 40s stage of life when I have young kids. Or my 50s stage of life when I have kids going to college and need to pay for that. 

Whatever you think you want now, it’s probably going to change as you go through different life phases. And that’s okay.

Stay Flexible – And Stay Realistic

This is why I think the idea of 20 or 30 years olds giving themselves FI numbers doesn’t really make much sense. It’s not that I don’t think the idea of a FI number doesn’t work. It’s just that I don’t think anyone at our age really knows what we want. There’s too much life to live. 

My wife and I always knew we’d buy a new house at some point. Back then, we didn’t have kids, and our income was lower. We initially thought we’d upgrade to a $400,000 or $500,000 house—a step up from our current $200,000 home. However, as we explored options, such as 360 Realty Management, we realized that homes in that price range no longer fit our needs. It’s not that they’re bad houses; they just aren’t the type of homes we’re looking for at this stage in our lives.

That million-dollar house that we saw last year is a house that, in retrospect, got away. It sat on the market for another 6 months, eventually going for a little bit under asking. If we’d been serious about buying a house last year – and if a house in that price range had even seemed within the realm of possibility for us – we would have bought that house. 

But the idea of a house like that for us was so crazy. Even more important, I didn’t want it then. I thought buying a house like that would be a waste of money. That was only a year ago, and the things I wanted back then are already different compared to the things I want now. 

When it comes to everything – money and life – you’ve got to stay flexible. Your life will change. And with it, the things you want will change too.

This post may contain affiliate links. Financial Panther has partnered with AwardWallet and CardRatings for our coverage of credit card products. Financial Panther, AwardWallet, and CardRatings may receive a commission from card issuers. Some or all of the card offers that appear on the website are from advertisers. Compensation may impact on how and where card products appear on the site. The site does not include all card companies, or all available card offers. Opinions, reviews, analyses & recommendations are the author’s alone, and have not been reviewed, endorsed or approved by any of these entities.

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  • Troxus Explorer Step-Thru Ebike – The Troxus Explorer Step-Thru is a fat-tire ebike that I’ve had the pleasure of riding for a while now. It has amazing power, great looks, and awesome range. If you’re looking for a great fat-tire ebike that offers a lot for the price, the Troxus Explorer Step-Thru is definitely one for you to consider. Check out my Troxus Explorer Step-Thru Review.
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  • Sohamo S3 Step-Thru Folding EBike Review – A Great Value Folding Ebike – The Sohamo S3 Step-Thru Folding Ebike is an entry-level folding ebike that offers a lot of value for the price point. I’ve been riding the Sohamo S3 for a while now, putting the bike through its paces, and I have to say, this bike has exceeded all of my expectations. Check out my Sohamo Review.
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If you’re looking for more easy bank bonuses, check out the below options. These bonuses are all easy to earn and have no fees or minimum balance requirements to worry about.

  • Upgrade ($200) – Upgrade is a free checking account that’s currently offering a $200 referral bonus if you open an account and complete a direct deposit. These bonus terms are easy to meet, so it’s well worth doing this bonus as soon as you can. Here’s a post I wrote with more details: Upgrade $200 Referral Bonus – Step By Step Directions.
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financial panther

Kevin is an attorney and the blogger behind Financial Panther, a blog about personal finance, travel hacking, and side hustling using the gig economy. He paid off $87,000 worth of student loans in just 2.5 years by choosing not to live like a big shot lawyer.

Kevin is passionate about earning money using the gig economy and you can see all the ways he makes extra income every month in his side hustle reports.

Kevin is also big on using the latest fintech apps to improve his finances. Some of Kevin's favorite fintech apps include:

  • SoFi Money. A really good checking account with absolutely no fees. You'll get a $25 referral bonus if you open a SoFi Money account with a referral link, and an additional $300 if you complete a direct deposit.
  • 5% Savings Accounts. I'm currently getting 5.24% interest on my savings through a company called Raisin. Opening a Raisin account takes minutes to complete, it's free, and all of your funds are FDIC-insured. I explain how it works, why I'm now using it to store my emergency fund and any other cash savings I have, and why I recommend everyone check it out in this review.
  • US Bank Business. US Bank is currently offering new business customers a $900 signup bonus after opening a new account and meeting certain requirements.
  • M1 Finance. This is a great robo-advisor that has no fees and allows you to create a customized portfolio based on your risk tolerance. You also get $100 for opening an account.
  • Empower. One of best free apps you can use to monitor your portfolio and track your net worth. This is one of the apps I use to track my financial accounts.

Feel free to send Kevin a message here.

Filed Under: Financial Independence

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Samuel says

    January 21, 2022 at 1:52 pm

    Congratulations on your house.

    I really agree with you. This is also applicable to me. I have always been rigid with what I want until I see that I desire them no more, and the things that I don’t see as a priority ten years ago happen to be my top priority right now.

    Reply
  2. Adding Pennies says

    January 21, 2022 at 11:12 am

    Congratulations on the new house!

    Reply
    • Financial Panther says

      January 21, 2022 at 12:43 pm

      Thanks!

      Reply
  3. Angie says

    November 16, 2021 at 9:29 am

    Hard agree. Most of us don’t know what we want *now*, let alone what we want in the long-term. Setting FI goals now for a decade from now may not make too much sense because not only do our own financial situations change a lot, the world’s financial situation will also change a bunch.

    Though I feel setting FI numbers is still important to do, because while the actual result might never be reached or be very different from what we thought, I believe that having a north star to march towards will at least drive actions that’ll steer us in the right direction.

    Reply
  4. Impersonal Finances says

    June 23, 2021 at 12:42 pm

    Whoa–congrats! I wonder how much the pandemic/lockdowns played into the new attitude toward a bigger space. I’m sure the house will be good to you. Way to be flexible with your own wants instead of sticking to the idea of what you used to want!

    Reply
  5. Average Joe says

    June 17, 2021 at 8:28 am

    dang lol, congrats! at first i thought this was april 1st post lol, did you really buy 1 mil house? i had to read this post twice, so this is real?

    Reply
    • Financial Panther says

      June 19, 2021 at 11:51 am

      It is. We’re closing in a few weeks. It’s going to be a major shift to our lifestyle, but we’re comfortable given where we are in our life right now. We’ll see. Could be a huge mistake too, but that’s how life works.

      Reply
  6. adam@realworldpersonalfinance says

    June 16, 2021 at 6:54 am

    I agree completely. One of the reasons we are still renting is flexibility because we don’t know what we want. As we move into our mid to late 30s, I’m sure our opinions about homeownership will change.

    And, as you alluded to, there becomes an inflection point where simply saving as much as you can just doesn’t “make sense” as money should be a tool, not a means to an end.

    Reply
  7. LadyFIRE says

    June 16, 2021 at 1:59 am

    First of all, congrats on the house!

    You make some very good points about changing priorities. If you had asked me ten years ago if I would make having a garden a priority in the future, I probably would have laughed in your face. Now, I would be very hard pressed to give up my garden 😀

    I also have to admit, I don’t really have a FIRE number (yet?). I feel like I am too far away from FIRE to be able to make a realistic estimate, as I do expect things to change quite a lot. I prefer to set shorter to medium term goals that take me broadly in the right direction (buy an apartment, get to 100K salary, currently trying to get to 100K in liquid investments)… Maybe as I get further along in the journey, it will become clearer what the number “should be”. But I probably will build in some buffer just in case.

    Thanks for the food for thought as always!

    Reply
  8. Eric says

    June 15, 2021 at 9:22 am

    Congrats on the new house! Glad to hear things are going well.

    Reply
  9. David @ Filled With Money says

    June 14, 2021 at 6:53 pm

    Congratulations on buying a great house. I can’t imagine buying a house in the million dollar price range but maybe in 10 years, I wouldn’t be able to imagine NOT buying a house in the million dollar range, haha.

    It’s amazing just how our priorities change. I remember in college, I lived on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and to this day, I have no clue how I did that on a consistent basis. I’m still frugal with my meals but it’s a vast upgrade from a PB&J sandwich.

    I can only imagine how my tastes and wants will change in the coming years.

    Reply
  10. Gary Crawford says

    June 13, 2021 at 7:33 pm

    Why is it always referred to as the mother in law space? As the father in law I always have an image of myself getting a hammock in the garage for my living space.

    Reply
    • Financial Panther says

      June 14, 2021 at 8:46 am

      Ha, yeah, I dunno.

      Reply

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