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what am I so afraid of

What Am I So Afraid Of? A Reaffirmation To Myself

Last Updated on April 17, 2023November 8, 2018 14 Comments
This post may contain affiliate links. Affiliate Disclosure.This post may contain affiliate links. Financial Panther has partnered with AwardWallet and CardRatings for our coverage of credit card products. Financial Panther, AwardWallet, and CardRatings may receive a commission from card issuers. Some or all of the card offers that appear on the website are from advertisers. Compensation may impact on how and where card products appear on the site. The site does not include all card companies, or all available card offers. Opinions, reviews, analyses & recommendations are the author’s alone, and have not been reviewed, endorsed or approved by any of these entities.

When I look back at my life, I think there’s one thing that has guided a lot of my decision-making – fear. It’s a powerful emotion, one that I think pushes many of us onto the paths that we find ourselves on – whether we know it or not.

Of course, a healthy dose of fear isn’t a bad thing. There’s value in having some fear to slow us down as we move through the world. But too much fear can be problematic. It can work as a trap, keeping us stuck in place and holding us back from chasing whatever it is that we might have been meant to do.

You can see this in action just by looking at the people around you. How many people do you know that talk about all of the things they want to do or the ideas they have, but never seem to act on them? Or think about all of the people who talk about how much they hate their jobs, yet spend 40 or more hours per week of their prime working at that same job and doing nothing to change that. What’s the reason for this? Is it laziness? Complacency? Something else?

Obviously, there are a lot of factors that go into the decisions we make, but I think that pretty much all of it boils down to the base emotion of fear. There’s the fear of going into the unknown. The fear of uncertainty. The fear we have about what others will think about us if don’t follow the normal path (and even worse, if we deviate from the norm and fail). 

I’ve been thinking about my own relationship with fear lately as I look at the choices I’ve made and the choices I hope to make in the future. I went to law school because I graduated during a recession and didn’t know what else to do. Law school made sense – a way to make myself a decent living. That’s the reason I tell myself anyway. But when I really think about it, it was a decision made out of fear. I didn’t know what else to do and I was too scared to go into the unknown. So instead, I chose the clear path. 

what am i so afraid of

I’ve been especially thinking about the impact fear has on my life as this blog continues to grow. My best friend keeps pushing me to take the leap and give the whole solopreneur thing a shot. As a part-time side hustle, I can grow this blog steadily. But if I could dedicate the 40+ hours per week that I currently spend at work, doing things that I’m not 100% passionate about, well…I could probably grow things a lot faster.

But I’m fearful of making that move, even though it’s something I really want to do. As a lawyer, I tend to have a worst-case view of the world – that if I do something, the worst will happen. Interestingly enough, I rarely ever think about what’s the best thing that could happen to me, or how even if things don’t work out, the worst case scenario is probably the most unlikely one. 

With all that said, today’s post is a reaffirmation I’m writing to myself and that I hope could apply to you too. It’s time to remember that the world is a much bigger place than we can imagine and that we have way more options and abilities than we know. 

I’m a generally fearful person – I know this is a character trait I have. But there are a lot of reasons why I shouldn’t be. My guess is that if you’re feeling stuck or scared to make that next move, the below reasons about why I shouldn’t be afraid might just apply to you too.

There Are Many Ways To Make A Living

Growing up, I basically figured that there were only two ways to make a decent living – be a lawyer or be a doctor. My basic understanding of money was that it was given to you, not created by you. In other words, money required doing things to get hired by someone – get good grades, go to good schools, get fancy degrees, and have good credentials.

The idea of being able to create money via your own wits or with your own job never really occurred to me until I got into this whole online space and the side hustle world. In retrospect, this was a weird mentality for me to have. I grew up in an immigrant household, with parents that didn’t have fancy jobs or any sort of fancy education. My dad owned a Chinese restaurant. Money wasn’t given to him – he had to create it himself.

As I continue to learn more about the world, I’m starting to realize just how small I used to think. There are so many more ways to make a living beyond being a doctor or a lawyer – more than any of us can imagine. It’s just about knowing that if you go out there, you can find some way to make it.

I Can Always Get A Job

Earlier this summer, I was on a panel where I talked about my own path in the law and the non-traditional path I’ve been pursuing. When someone asked me how I made the decision to leave all of these traditionally “good” legal jobs, I went into the usual things I say – how I was looking for something that I found more fulfilling, that fit me better as a person, etc. But I also made the very important point that there are always going to be jobs out there and that if things don’t work out, I can ALWAYS get another job. 

It’s kind of a silly thing to have to remind yourself of – that you can always get another job. I think there’s this weird absolutist thing that I and a lot of professionals seem to have – an idea that if you don’t do things exactly by the book, you’ll never be able to make it and you’ll be broke and unemployed forever. Obviously, this isn’t true.

We’re all smart and have the drive to succeed. There are a million jobs out there. Some are good, some are crappy. But they’re out there. If I need to get a job, I can always go and get one. 

I Don’t Need A Lot Of Money To Live

A great benefit of the financial independence movement is that it’s creating a whole group of people that knows how to live lean. The funny thing is, we act like this is something we’ve never done before, but anyone who has gone to college knows exactly how to live lean.

There are a lot of benefits to not needing a lot of money to live. It allows you to save more money, of course. But it does something even more important. It buys you flexibility. And when you have flexibility, you lose a lot of fear.

I don’t need a lot of money in order to live. I’ve proven it to myself by the fact that I’ve taken two pay cuts in the past two years, dropping my income by over 50% during that time span. It helps that I paid off all of my student loans as fast as I could, I’ve never bought a car, and my only real fixed cost is a very reasonable mortgage payment on a modest house, which is partially covered via house hacking with Airbnb.

If I was spending $100k a year, things would be a lot tougher for me. I’d need over $8,000 per month just to make ends meet. But drop that spending down to something like $30k, and suddenly, things look much more manageable. Creating $8,000 per month out of thin air is scary. But $2,500 per month out of nothing – that looks possible. Break it down by day and things really look manageable. $30,000 per year in expenses requires $82 or $83 per day. Anyone can do that.

I’m Not Alone

One of the benefits of being in a two-income household is that, just in itself, you have a built-in backup system, as long as you do the smart move of living on one income. Out of necessity, my wife and I have been doing that for years. I got my first job in 2013. My wife was a student up until a few months ago, giving up hundreds of thousands of dollars in real and opportunity costs to become the specialist dentist that she is today. During that stretch, we essentially lived on my income alone. And we did this even as my income kept going down. 

My big fear is taking a leap into something new and never making a dime. Of course, I could always go back and get a job. But even if I made no income for years, we’d still have plenty to live on since my wife and I have spent the last four or five years getting used to living on one income. If I wasn’t married, I still would have plenty of support systems. I could just move back home if I needed to. In any event, I’d figure something out.

Most of you reading this probably aren’t alone either. You have partners, or spouses, or family that you can probably lean on, at least just for a little bit. There’s a lot less to be fearful of when you remember that you’re not out there by yourself.

The Thing I Always Forget – I Could Succeed

Instead of looking at all the negatives and all of the contingency plans I need, it’s important to remember one thing that I always forget – the best case scenario could happen. I could succeed in whatever projects or dreams or ideas I have.

As this blog continues to grow, I keep thinking about all of the horrible things that could happen if I decide to go all-in on the whole solopreneuer thing. I have all of my backup options at my disposal if the worst does happen and everything flames out. But why don’t I spend any time thinking about the fact that it could all work and I could make it?

So What Are You Afraid Of?

I’ve got this vision of being able to do this online thing full-time, and while it might not be some big, huge money-making enterprise, it’s something that I’d like to take a shot at.

After all, I don’t have a lot of reasons not to give it a shot. I’m 31, with no kids yet. I don’t have a lot of expenses. And I have a professional degree that I should be able to fall back on, not to mention that I’m married to a dentist that now owns her own practice. 

Admittedly, I’m in a unique situation, one that should make me less fearful compared to others. Our situations are all different, but I think the points made in this post are universal to everyone.

  • We can all figure out ways to make a living.
  • There are always going to be jobs out there that we can get.
  • If we don’t need a lot to live, we can pretty much do anything. 

And most importantly, we need to remember the most important thing. We could succeed. 

This post may contain affiliate links. Financial Panther has partnered with AwardWallet and CardRatings for our coverage of credit card products. Financial Panther, AwardWallet, and CardRatings may receive a commission from card issuers. Some or all of the card offers that appear on the website are from advertisers. Compensation may impact on how and where card products appear on the site. The site does not include all card companies, or all available card offers. Opinions, reviews, analyses & recommendations are the author’s alone, and have not been reviewed, endorsed or approved by any of these entities.

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Check out these other ebikes and scooters I've reviewed:

  • Urban Arrow Ebike – Last year, I made one of the largest purchases I’ve ever made – I bought a $9,000 electric cargo bike from Urban Arrow. In my Urban Arrow review, I will discuss what it is and why I decided to buy this bike, as well as discuss how impactful a bike like this can be on your journey to financial independence.
  • Troxus Explorer Step-Thru Ebike – The Troxus Explorer Step-Thru is a fat-tire ebike that I’ve had the pleasure of riding for a while now. It has amazing power, great looks, and awesome range. If you’re looking for a great fat-tire ebike that offers a lot for the price, the Troxus Explorer Step-Thru is definitely one for you to consider. Check out my Troxus Explorer Step-Thru Review.
  • Hovsco HovBeta Ebike – The HovBeta is a folding ebike with great specs and a lot of interesting features, and importantly, it’s sold at a good price point. I’ve had a blast commuting with it and using it to do deliveries with DoorDash, Uber Eats, and Grubhub. Check out my Hovsco HovBeta Ebike Review.
  • Vanpowers Manidae Ebike – The Vanpowers Manidae is a fat tire ebike that I’ve been riding as my primary winter commuting bike and have also been using it to do food delivery with apps like DoorDash, Uber Eats, and Grubhub. After clocking in a decent number of miles with this ebike, I wanted to write a post sharing what my experience with the Vanpowers Manidae ebike has been like. Check out my Vanpowers Manidae Review.
  • Sohamo S3 Step-Thru Folding EBike Review – A Great Value Folding Ebike – The Sohamo S3 Step-Thru Folding Ebike is an entry-level folding ebike that offers a lot of value for the price point. I’ve been riding the Sohamo S3 for a while now, putting the bike through its paces, and I have to say, this bike has exceeded all of my expectations. Check out my Sohamo Review.
  • KBO Flip Ebike – The KBO Flip is an excellent bike. I’ve had a great time riding it and think it’s a versatile bike that can be used for a lot of purposes and can fit a variety of lifestyles. It’s worked out great for me as a general commuter bike and as a food delivery bike. Check out my KBO Flip Review.
  • Hiboy P7 Commuter Ebike – The Hiboy P7 is an excellent electric commuter bike that’s offered at an affordable price point. The range and speed of this bike are both very good, so you won’t have any trouble getting anywhere you need to go with it. As a food delivery vehicle, this is also good – with how much range it offers, you’ll be able to work all day on a single charge. Check out my Hiboy P7 Commuter Electric Bike Review.
  • Himiway Escape Ebike – The Himiway Escape is an interesting bike for anyone looking for a moped-style ebike. If you’re a gig economy worker, the Himiway Escape is particularly interesting and it’s possible to think of it as an investment, especially if you can opt to do deliveries with the Himiway versus using a car. It’s not cheap, but you can definitely make your money back when you compare the mileage you’ll put on your car versus using an ebike. Check out my Himiway Escape Bike Review.
  • Espin Sport Ebike – The Espin Sport is a good ebike for someone who is looking for an ebike that feels and rides more like a regular bike. There are many ebikes that are really only bikes in name. In reality, they’re basically electric mopeds. The Espin Sport, by contrast, is a bike you could probably ride without the battery and you’d feel like you’re just riding a regular bike. Check out my Espin Sport Review.
  • Varla Eagle One Scooter – The Varla Eagle One is an excellent scooter that can make sense for a lot of people. It can work as a primary mode of transportation. You can use it to work on gig economy apps like DoorDash, Uber Eats, and Grubhub. And it can also be a recreational vehicle if you’d prefer to use it for that. Check out my Varla Eagle One Review.
  • Varla Falcon Scooter – The Varla Falcon is an excellent scooter that offers a good amount of power at a lower price point compared to more powerful scooters. It’s not exactly an entry-level scooter, nor is it a high-powered scooter. I think it fits somewhere in-between those two categories – an intermediate scooter if I had to give it a category. Check out my Varla Falcon Review.
  • Hiboy S2 Scooter – The Hiboy S2 is an excellent entry-level commuter scooter that's perfect for someone looking to save some money in transportation costs and improve their commute. Check out my Hiboy S2 Review.
  • Hiboy S2R Scooter – The Hiboy S2R is one of the more interesting electric scooters I’ve been able to test out. It’s not a high-powered scooter, but for an everyday transport option, it’s very useful, especially given some of the unique features that it has. Indeed, for the price, the Hiboy S2R might be the best value scooter I’ve used. Check out my Hiboy S2R Review.
  • Fucare H3 Scooter – The Fucare H3 is a fun scooter and I’ve enjoyed testing it out. For a daily commuter or quick trips or errands, the Fucare H3 is probably the scooter I’ll use. It’s portable and easy to maneuver, so it’s just easier to take on the road when I need it. Check out my Fucare H3 Scooter Review.

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  • SoFi Invest ($25) – SoFi Invest is an easy brokerage account bonus that you can earn with just a few minutes of work. Use my SoFi Invest referral link, fund your SoFi Invest brokerage account with just $10 and you’ll get $25 of free stock. I also have a step-by-step guide for the SoFi Invest referral bonus.
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If you’re looking for more easy bank bonuses, check out the below options. These bonuses are all easy to earn and have no fees or minimum balance requirements to worry about.

  • Upgrade ($200) – Upgrade is a free checking account that’s currently offering a $200 referral bonus if you open an account and complete a direct deposit. These bonus terms are easy to meet, so it’s well worth doing this bonus as soon as you can. Here’s a post I wrote with more details: Upgrade $200 Referral Bonus – Step By Step Directions.
  • Ally Bank ($100) – Of all the banks out there, Ally is, without a doubt, my favorite. At the moment, Ally is offering $100 to customers who open an eligible Ally account and meet the requirements. Here are the step-by-step directions to earn your Ally Bank referral bonus.
  • Fairwinds Credit Union ($175) – Fairwinds Credit Union is offering a referral bonus for users that sign up using a referral link. Fairwinds has no fees or minimum balance, so this is a particularly easy bonus to earn. Since this is a smaller credit union, my gut instinct tells me this offer won’t be around long, so if you’re in a position to meet the bonus requirements, grab this bonus before it’s gone. Here is my step-by-step guide on how to earn your Fairwinds Credit Union bonus.
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  • Current ($50) – Current is a free fintech bank that’s offering new users a $50 referral bonus after signing up for an account using a referral link. Current is an easy bonus to earn and also gives you access to three savings accounts that pay you 4% interest on up to $2,000. That means you can put away up to $6,000 earning 4% interest. That’s very good and makes Current an account I recommend to everyone. Check out my step-by-step guide on how to earn your Current Bank bonus.
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financial panther

Kevin is an attorney and the blogger behind Financial Panther, a blog about personal finance, travel hacking, and side hustling using the gig economy. He paid off $87,000 worth of student loans in just 2.5 years by choosing not to live like a big shot lawyer.

Kevin is passionate about earning money using the gig economy and you can see all the ways he makes extra income every month in his side hustle reports.

Kevin is also big on using the latest fintech apps to improve his finances. Some of Kevin's favorite fintech apps include:

  • SoFi Money. A really good checking account with absolutely no fees. You'll get a $25 referral bonus if you open a SoFi Money account with a referral link, and an additional $300 if you complete a direct deposit.
  • 5% Savings Accounts. I'm currently getting 5.24% interest on my savings through a company called Raisin. Opening a Raisin account takes minutes to complete, it's free, and all of your funds are FDIC-insured. I explain how it works, why I'm now using it to store my emergency fund and any other cash savings I have, and why I recommend everyone check it out in this review.
  • US Bank Business. US Bank is currently offering new business customers a $900 signup bonus after opening a new account and meeting certain requirements.
  • M1 Finance. This is a great robo-advisor that has no fees and allows you to create a customized portfolio based on your risk tolerance. You also get $100 for opening an account.
  • Empower. One of best free apps you can use to monitor your portfolio and track your net worth. This is one of the apps I use to track my financial accounts.

Feel free to send Kevin a message here.

Filed Under: Career, Financial Independence

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. gofi says

    November 16, 2018 at 3:01 pm

    Go for it, Mr Panther 🙂 – with caution. Could you possibly make a deal with your employer on working 50%, or giving you a sabbatical if that’s possible.

    Whatever you do, I’ll be following 🙂

    Reply
    • Financial Panther says

      November 17, 2018 at 12:10 pm

      That could be something I pitch one day. We’ll see…

      Reply
  2. Adrian says

    November 14, 2018 at 1:39 pm

    Kevin, I stumbled upon your website a few months ago and it was really intriguing.

    As someone who also has been driven by fear (which common amongst immigrant families) and trying to balance that with the possibility of success, I really identify with your thought process. I also pursued the “safe” path, and after about 20 years it has led to a discontented life.

    I’m still pursuing FI (still not quite there yet) and am taking advantage of an opportune ugly office politics/lay-off to start being more solo entrepreneurial. So I’m also looking at side hustles (and maybe even returning to a more low key full time job for health care benefits).

    On a side note, there are a couple flaws to the thought that you can always “get a job”.
    1) With the rise if automation/AI and younger (cheaper) people on the ladder, employers simply may not want to employ you as you get older.

    2) You may indeed eventually get a job, but it may be the type of job you simply can’t tolerate after a certain age.

    This may be mitigated if you’re willing to geoarbitrage to another country. I lived in China for many years and saw a plethora of older Westerners on the teach English track, which I might try out myself on day.

    Adrian

    Reply
    • Financial Panther says

      November 15, 2018 at 9:36 am

      Hey Adrian,

      Thanks for your comment!

      I suppose that I do write from a millennial mindset, as I am only 31 years old, so admittedly, I cannot know what life is like for someone in their 40s or 50s. I will say that I respectfully disagree with your two points about the ability to get a job. Yes, age discrimination exists, but if you have skills, not to mention the drive that you must have to be where you are today, there’s just no way you can’t get a job. It might not be your “dream” job, but if you need a job to pay the bills, you will be able to get a job. As to jobs you can tolerate – I guess I’m of the opinion that all of us can tolerate anything if we absolutely have to, at least for a relatively short time. If my choice is don’t eat or get some horrible job, I’ll get the job.

      I didn’t even know older expats taught english. Always thought that was a young person’s game, but thanks for pointing that out as an option. Seems like a fun, chill thing to do after a long career.

      Reply
  3. Ricky Anderson says

    November 9, 2018 at 8:23 pm

    Ads aren’t the only way to monetize.

    You’ve gained lots of knowledge that you could productize, such as how to pick and market an Airbnb property.

    Thanks for what you do, whether it’s your full time gig or not.

    Reply
    • Financial Panther says

      November 13, 2018 at 10:34 am

      Thanks Ricky! Appreciate the support!

      Reply
  4. Allie says

    November 9, 2018 at 12:36 pm

    Stopped reading after “two income household.” We don’t all have a well paid spouse on standby who can pick up the slack if we take a risk and fail. It’s a different game when you’re an independent person 100% responsible for paying your own rent.

    Reply
    • Financial Panther says

      November 9, 2018 at 12:49 pm

      To be honest, if I were single and had no one else to involve in my decision making, I would have already made the leap to solopreneurship 6 months ago. The great thing about being single is that you don’t have to worry about anyone else but yourself. If you take a risk and fail, the only person you have to take care of is yourself. This also goes back to my point about living lean. If you need 100k a year to meet your needs, then yeah, it’s going to be hard. But if you need 30k a year to survive, then is there really a risk? That’s 82 dollars a day to survive. Work 5 hours a day making 20 dollars an hour and now you’re making 100 dollars a day, which should be enough for a young, single person to live, while still giving you time to pursue your project, dreams, or whatever for at least a few years. And if that fails, then like I said, you can always get a job.

      My wife is well paid, but she took her own risk by purchasing a practice. She’s well paid because she uses her skills and her own wits to earn an income – no one pays her but herself. If you have skills and your own wits, can’t you do the same?

      Reply
    • Katie Camel says

      July 16, 2020 at 4:47 am

      I’m almost 41 and still single (though currently attached) and have never had anyone to fall back upon, but I’ve still managed to take risks. It’s easier to take them if you’ve planned ahead and created a safety net for yourself. You can still relate to and learn from someone who’s married, but it may require you to apply the lesson a little differently to your own life. In this case, you have the freedom of not worrying what works or doesn’t work for someone else. I’m planning to get married, but I can already see how different it is to include someone else in the picture and have to plan accordingly. In that sense, it’s way more difficult and presents a new and very different fear.

      Reply
  5. Dan says

    November 8, 2018 at 2:59 pm

    I am very suspicious of information from bloggers that consider their blog to be their full-time vocation. First, I think it creates a conflict of interest. The readers are now the product and the only way to monetize it is through advertising. Is what I’m reading what the blogger really believes or is it something to generate income. It’s like financial planners. When they recommend of a mutual fund, are they recommending it because they truly believe it is the best thing for me or because they are getting a sales commission.

    Reply
    • Financial Panther says

      November 9, 2018 at 9:47 am

      Very legitimate point Dan. Conflicts of interest are a problem in pretty much any industry.

      At the same time though, if conflicts of interest and jobs/income are an issue, how does one trust their dentist, doctor, lawyer, or anyone who provides a service where the customer is the “product”? Is my dentist’s suggestion that I need a crown or implant because they really believe that, or is it because they are trying to make an income from their full-time vocation? Does a newspaper report the news to me do all that fighting for truth and justice, or are they just trying to sell me a story to make an income? Am I scumbag lawyer when I represent clients since I’m paid by the hour and technically would make more by billing more hours? I dunno, maybe, maybe not?

      As a content creator, I’d also like to point out that much of content creation relies on creating true fans. In other words, any interaction here on this blog with any reader is not a one-off encounter. If someone is out to scam someone, you can only do that if you never expect to see them again and/or the ability to leave is very difficult (think, fees to close an account, contracts that extend a long time, etc). But if you need your customer to come back (which any writer, content creator, or business owner, for that matter, needs), scamming someone isn’t helpful – it hurts in the long run, ruining your reputation and losing you customers. The same is true about your ability to leave. All I can do is write what I think, and if someone thinks I’m dishonest or out to scam them, it’s simply a matter of closing the screen. So, can I really do that?

      I admit, I’m also suspicious of financial planners too, to the point where I don’t think I’ll ever use one. I think they can get away “scamming” more because costs are unclear and it’s harder to get out once you’re in.

      As to my own integrity, I can only put stuff out there, but I suppose others get to judge me on that.

      Reply
      • Dan says

        November 9, 2018 at 2:31 pm

        What do they say about doctors? Always get a 2nd opinion. Newspapers are supposed to exercise journalistic ethics. A few years back, the NY Times was rocked with a few scandals. I stopped reading them as a result. You trust until you feel the trust has been broken, individually or as a profession. If you go shopping for a car, would you take the price the used car salesman says is the “best deal you will find”?

        As for scamming, you don’t know anything which probably means you are honest. The best scams are the ones where the mark keeps coming back. In your would-be profession, a blogger would hide his kickbacks and even deny them so that it would appear the recommendations are based solely on his preferences. The best scammers mix truth and value into their scam to make it more believable & to hold up to scrutiny. The best place to hide a lie is in a forest of truths.

        Lawyers, bloggers, used car salesman, politicians, financial planners, etc. they all have a negative reputation for a reason.

        Reply
  6. Financial Mechanic says

    November 8, 2018 at 11:45 am

    I 100% relate to this post. I decided to be an engineer because it was safe. I saved money because it made me feel safer. I am not ready for a big risk yet– but I’m one of those people that want to travel the world and live abroad. It’s my main mission for FI, yet I could do it now. Why wait? Fear.

    Thanks for writing this!

    Reply
    • Financial Panther says

      November 8, 2018 at 12:37 pm

      Honestly, if I could go back in time, I think I would have spent my early 20s trying to use my own wits to create something. Like spend 22 to 26 years old doing something. I could have gone to law school at 27 years old and it wouldn’t have seemed out of the ordinary at all. But I’m fearful, so I needed to take the clear path right away.

      Reply

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